With All Deliberate Speed

The problem: Your 19-year-old son just used the family car to run over Israelis, and the government’s going to knock down your house.

The solution: Come up with a good reason why the incident isn’t a terror attack. If you’re lucky, a sympathetic reporter from, say, the BBC will give this tidbit excessive emphasis:

Other excuses known to play well to the MSM’s ears include jilted romance and unpleasant medical side-effects.