The Israel Elections Drinking GameJanuary 21, 2013 15:06 by Pesach Benson
Israel is going to the polls, which means suffering Big Media’s post-election cliches and spin.
Instead of fighting the buzz this year, I’m embracing it all in with the (non-political) Israel Elections Drinking Game.
What do you need?
Not much, actually.
Just a mix of newspapers, TV reports, and talking heads, along with the liquor of your choice. The rules are quite simple:
Take a sip
Labels such as Arch-hawk, ultra-nationalist, racist.
“Results are a setback for peace.”
Photos of candidates proudly casting their votes
Take 2 big sips
“Israel doesn’t want peace.”
“Israeli democracy’s broken.”
“A nail in the coffin for the two-state solution.”
“Results marginalize Palestinian moderates.”
Photos of soldiers proudly casting their ballots.
Drink a full cup
Anonymous Washington sources floating trial balloons in the NY Times.
UK media quoting fringe Israeli leftists as mainstream.
Wire services citing some outrageous Haaretz article.
American reporters cherry picking quotes from analysts and policy wonks.
“It’s Israel’s fault the PA hasn’t had presidential elections since 2005.”
The Guardian’s word count goes through roof explaining in passing why Jerusalem isn’t Israel’s capital.
Jimmy Carter, Desmond Tutu, Musa Abu Marzook.
Photos of Israeli minorities proudly casting their votes.
Finish your bottle
“Small party kingmakers obstruct everything right and decent in the world.”
“The needs to do some soul searching.”
The prime minister’s overzealous bodyguards.
Political cartoonists in Australia, South Africa and the UK.
Anyone claiming inside knowledge of the next coalition make-up.
Tayyep Recep Erdogan, Gideon Levy, Zbigniew Brzezinski.
Photos of Sheikh Raed Salah and the Ben Gurion U. poli-sci dept. proudly casting their votes
Buy a round of drinks
Diane Sawyer and other drunk journos celebrating the results.
Anything nice about Israeli democracy in action.
Photos of Bar Rafaeli proudly casting her vote.